My name is Tonya.
I am a grateful believer and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ
and I deal with codependency.
Yep, that's what the Lord is working on in my life right now.
...and, no, it's not fun.
"For my soul is full of troubles:" Psalm 88:3a
You see, the Lord graciously revealed this idol (codependency upon other people and not Him) in my life to me about 6 years ago when we had the privileged of speaking with our wonderful counselor Randy Storms. Randy worked a great deal with me concerning my codependency. Now that Randy is gone...I've been slacking .
Just like Priscilla Shirer says in my Gideon study I'm going through right now, "opening myself up to their [sins] removal would require an uncomfortable transformation I didn't want to deal with right then. So I just didn't."
A codependent person is = "one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.", Melody Beattie from the book "Codependent No More".
I find myself living in my codependency when my
feelings and choices are defined by others reactions instead of God's truth.
Praise my Heavenly Daddy, He is so Patient to keep working with me concerning this lie I have believed. He is The Only One worth basing my feeling and reactions upon.
It's so amazing how I've been going thru my Gideon study, and how God has lined it up perfectly in my life concerning my situation dealing with my CD (codependency)! Priscilla even says, "Gideon is operating now on his own, reacting to the actions or inaction of others instead of staying steadfast to Yahweh's instructions." (concerning Judges 8:15-17) Yep, that describes me!
...more from my study :
"Seeking God and His will must remain our constant desire and aspiration, even after we've begun seeing His strength demonstrated in our lives. Otherwise, we will be submerged beneath the momentum of human approval, momentary convenience, personal desires, or misplaced ambitions." ~ Priscilla Shirer, Gideon.
I love Jesus' example of NOT living co-dependently in Mark 1: 35-38
"And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed. And Simon and they that were with him followed after him. And when they had found him, they said unto him, All men seek for thee. And he said unto them, Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also: for therefore came I forth."
Jesus wasn't concerned who He was going to offend by not going back into the town to follow their agenda, He was on a mission for His Father... to tell others of Him. I too pray He will bring me to that place...
Codependent No More!
"forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."