Friday, September 27, 2013


Divorce sounds like such a quick fix to hard problems in marriage.

But over and over I'm reminded...that God has a bigger plan.

I'm not saying that it will never happen to us again.  We are human just like everyone else and while we are alive on this earth we are not ever immune to sin and its consequences.

We have been going through a hard spot in our marriage, and God promises if we keep pressing on, in Him, He will see us through with His plan for our lives.

(I almost put the word "but" where I placed the word "and".  In learning about my co dependence, I am taught that often, I need to replace the word, "but", with the word, "and".  I'm starting to like this!  :)

"If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee."
Exodus 15:26

Divorce brings on a whole new set of problems added to the ones already in place.  If there are children involved...what about them?  

"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."  1 Corinthians 7:14

So is this saying, the children are holy (=pure), because the believing spouse stays with the unbelieving spouse?  So what's the opposite?  If the believing spouse divorces the unbelieving spouse, the children become unpure...?  
Just a thought~ quite an interesting one!

Also, something to think about, divorce doesn't just affect the two involved in the has lasting effects on future generations!  

I urge you...before you even consider the "D" word, please do everything possible. For desperate situations, a legal separation may be in order~ 1 Corinthians 7:5 "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife...."  Our Father's heart hurts to see His children feel the consequences of divorce.

 When things feel like there is no hope, do not trust your feelings...they are fleeting.  Only God's Word never changes!  
"The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever."  Isaiah 40:8

 Check out Deuteronomy 28 and see how the Lord will bless you when you "hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which He commands us...pretty cool!

Don't give up on life or your spouse, keep going, our God is worth it!


  1. Oh my goodness, Tonya! I have a blog post coming up on this very subject, as the Lord keeps nudging my heart about it. Its called the Prodigal Spouse, and I think its scheduled for the first of October. We MUST keep preaching this message, I say YES and AMEN to everything you have written here! :)

  2. Good word Tonya. Divorce comes with great cost and heartbreak, especially for the children! There is no such thing as a quick fix. As you pointed out it truly does affect generations. Marriage is worth every ounce of effort.

  3. Tonya and Christy... gives me goosebumps to read your responses!!! God is so good!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing! Hugs to you both! I can't wait to read your post Tonya! Thank you for standing with me on this subject!

  4. I just recently wrote a blog post on marriage (, the constant vigilance that is necessary. We've seen so many of our friends and relatives go through divorces after 25 or 30 years of marriage. In most cases, the marriage could have been saved if they would have addressed the problems early on. Good thoughts, Tonya.

  5. I love you for your go against the tide for Him. I came from divorce as you know.....I remember them saying it will be better for "us" the kids if they divorced.......funny after all these years it still rings in my ears. I have witnessed that it is one of satans huge lies. The Lord has taught you much and you bless me when you stand for Truth.....God has used you much sweet pea! Love you forever!

  6. I went through a divorce few years back..God brought me to standing for restoration of my marriage. My H married the other woman and God has me still standing, I made a vow, I can not move on, everyone in a while when I have to talk to my husband, God has me pour out that I love him. My husband does not say anything..Please pray for me as well as many others who God has brought to standing for our loved ones to see Christ in a new way. My husband told our youngest that God brought him this new woman, I know and so does my child that the Lord we serve does not work like that. He met her in the church that married us, I told my old pastor that I made a vow and God has me honoring it. I believe God is trying to do something in my mess to a message. So many I know are standing for their loves ones, we feel like Noah he was building a boat where there was no water..we are standing where my husbands are not here..only God can do the work we are to stand where he puts us.I love my husband 5 yrs ago more and more, but I love Jesus more and more and know who I am in him. He is my beloved and I am his...its amazing how God does what he does. I love a man who I should not but am madly in love with him. Thank you for all you do and God brought me to sites that are such blessings..all started with someone not sure who sent me the 4littlefergusons..and now God your amazing.

    1. Oh friend!! Bless your heart! You keep on standing girlfriend! It is so hard to stand in the battle, but in the end (eternity) it will be worth it! (easier said than done I know) "Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." Eh 6:13...after we have done everything...stand. I am so proud of you for keeping your vow. Your son will one day rise up and call you blessed! (Prov 31:28). I love watching God use our messes for His glory. I love it knowing that more and more are standing for their loved ones as satan is attacks marriages knowing his time is drawing to a close.
      It's amazing to me how God uses the fire to bring us closer to Him. Had I not gone through our trials I would not be as close to Him as I am today. I have grown so much in my Christian as I walk through this life: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you." Isaiah 43:2. I am so thankful you stopped by my blog. Jesus is so in love with you and is your Husband...(so comforting!) Keep Him front and center! HUGS!

  7. You may like the sermon our pastor preached last was amazing! Check it out here- (You may have to copy and paste it):

  8. I too am a stander. Three children watch me. If nothing else, I will model to them what making a covenant vow means, and being obedient to God. It is comforting to know others stand for the same in this world riddled with sin and divorce. Praying for all standers to be blessed with restoration.

  9. It's very hard to be a stander, and to never know if what your waiting on will ever happen... It does hurt when your child asks when are you and momma going to get back together and cries to you that they just want to be a normal family again... I pray for my ex wife multiple times daily along with my other prayers for my daughter and others.... It is a hard spot, I pray for God's will to be done and that my wife reconciles with me and that God breaks the chains and removes the blinders that Satan is using to hold her... Using her hurt, sadness,sorrow, and own selfish wants and desires for her own happiness to keep her blinded by this new lustful, sin of the flesh, infatuation (if happening fornication/adultery), I pray she flees this temptation of this guy or any other used by the devil and runs to the light of God and that he would put healing, restoration and reconciliation in her heart Mind body and soul and we could reunite again... But praying and watching from the other side hurts deeply...

  10. Please pray for my husband and children... And for me.

    I am standing.