Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Daughter

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that 14 years ago God would have blessed me, a dirty rotten stinkin' sinner, with a beautiful daughter created in His image?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was an 18 year old newlywed, fresh out of High School, with only 1 month of marriage under my belt. Scared didn't even start to describe the feelings I felt when I saw 2 lines on my home pregnancy test. Yes, I am embarassed to admit, abortion was a thought that satan tossed in my 18 year old mind, but I immediately dismissed that thought in Jesus name.  I would never choose abortion.

I was not ready to be a mommy.   Josh and I wanted to wait at least 3 years after marriage until having children.   We had been dating for the past 4 years and we wanted to get to know eachother better before bringing children into our lives.... God had a different plan.   Her name is Ellie.

Young Daddy, Mommy and Baby Ellie

Ellie's entrance into the world changed our lives. After experiencing hours of hard labor and a C-Section, Ellie's first year was a whirlwind.   Her teenage mommy didn't know how to handle marriage and mommyhood.   I have never felt so alone and experienced such depression as I did in those dark days.   I had never heard of "post pardom depression" until I worked at the Open Door Pregnancy Care Center.   Only then did I realize, THAT'S WHAT I HAD!   I'm sure it was a mixture of my life changing so drastically by graduating high school, getting married and having a baby so quickly that I didn't know how to handle it all.  Also I was not solid in my Lord like I should have been.   I cannot even imagine what the young school age girls that walk through the doors of Pregnancy Centers (or abortion clinics for that matter), around the country, must be feeling. I was out of high school, had my family and a new husband to support me. These girls have no one.

Open Door Pregnancy Care Center - Hutchinson

Just a little plug here for the PCCs around the nation. If you have a spare moment, please stop and pray for them, ask the Lord what He wants YOU to DO.

"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." James 1:22
It is a mission field that you don't even have to get a passport for, it's right in your own backyard! All these girls want is to be shown the love of Christ.

I am so thankful God brought me out of that depression almost 2 years after her birth. He is so faithful and knows me so intimately. That tiny little 9lb 10 1/2oz baby girl has become my best friend. She has grown into such a sweet, respectable young lady who loves the Lord. I can't believe she is ready to enter High School.

Many moms speak of how terrible sad it is when their child goes to kindergarden, High School, or hits another milestone. For me it's more of a bittersweet feeling. Isn't that what God has calls us to do, continually grow up in Him and never be the same?

"As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby" 1 Peter 2:2
Even Jesus grew, matured and hit milestones.

"And the child grew..." Luke 2:40

God doesn't want you to stop growing either! He wants you to be able to teach others about Him as you grow in grace and knowledge of Him too!

"For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteouness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." Hebrews 5:12 NKJV

"But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen." 2 Peter 3:18
I beg God to PLEASE grow my children up.

So this season of change with our Ellie is an answer to our prayer.

God tells us in James that life is short and change WILL happen.

"Whereas you do not know what will happen to morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away." James 4:14 NKJV
But we have this hope, that we can trust His steadfastness.

"Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8
If you do not know Jesus Christ, who I speak of, I beg of you to search for Him!

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
What are you using your time to search for while you are on this earth? You are on this earth for a very short vapor and that vapor, called your life, will vanish away very quickly. You will either spend eternity in heaven or hell. 
"And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him." Luke 12:4&5
I am humbled that recently God wooed my Ellie to recommit her life to Him . She chose to give it all to Him and be assured that when she passes from this earth she will spend eternity in heaven with God. 

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." John 5:24
This is a joyful new chapter God has allowed into our lives. Astounding He has chosen and allowed me to experience it!

Ellie has chosen to homeschool for High School via internet. I am really excited to watch her grow in these 4 short years ahead of us. I know these 4 vapor years are going to FLY by. I beg God to help us pour into her all she needs for the future He has for her.

I am amazed at how far God has brought our sweet daughter after all she has had to endure from her immature parents. God has answered our prayers for her protection and growth even though we mess up. I beg God to keep working in her despite us.

I am so excited to see what the Lord has for her and how He will use her for His glory.

I love you Elllie!

"Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways."
Psalm 128:1


  1. My sweet Tonya my sweet daughter in love, God has used your everything to further His plan for your life so that you can minister to your family and those in need. I so agree with the sweet precious relationship you have with your Ellie. I am so excited for you as you work along side the Lord as you and Josh prepare her for adulthood. Enjoy! I love you both, so much! So excited she will be homevschooled. You won't regret it. So man loose their girls to others.......praying!

    Love, me

  2. Awww...this is awesome. What a testimony...and you've really blessed me in a lot of ways..and encouraged and just made me smile ;) :) :) I think the whole Stubbs fa mily is just really neat..and it's great to see how much you all love Jesus Christ :) Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather :)

  3. Your story is beautiful. God is always working preparing us for the next step in our life journey with Him! You might have thought you did not know what you were doing but the Lord knew! What a beautiful young woman you have raised. She is a beautiful soul! I love your story. Hugs Anne